Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Junior's Story...Part II

Read the first part of Junior's Story HERE

After a grueling pregnancy, mostly spent on bed rest, and a loss in the family (not to mention a devastating diagnosis for another close family member), we were beyond ready for the joy of meeting our beautiful little boy. Following an uncomplicated labor and delivery, Junior was finally here.

"Something's Not Right"
All babies in California must be given a newborn hearing screen before their release from the hospital. At 12 hours old, a nurse came in to test Junior. He didn't pass, but she assured me they had tested too early, and he probably still had residual fluid in his ears from the birth. After all, "everyone passes". The next day, before discharge, another nurse tested him. Again, he failed. We endured two more failed tests in the following weeks, before we met with a pediatric Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist who commented that Junior's ears were, indeed, filled with fluid and that the issue should resolve itself within the next few months. So we waited. Hopeful, yet guarded.

The Diagnosis
After a follow-up with the ENT determining his ears were clear of fluid, 3-month old Junior had one more hearing test. After no brain activity or nerve function was detected in the presence of sound, he was diagnosed as being profoundly deaf. Immediately, my world came crashing down. This child who was supposed to be a healer, supposed to be the catalyst for healing in a still-grieving family, would likely never hear my voice, or be able to speak that he loves me. That day was a whirlwind of emotions. Anger, sadness, fear, regret, frustration...I was completely overwhelmed in every way possible. 

The Aftermath     
I was very low for the next few months. Depressed isn't even the right word. I questioned God's sovereignty. I questioned His plan. I questioned His love. But, at the same time I dug deeper into Him than I ever had before, because I had no where else to go. 
He taught me that I needed to love our little boy, despite his being imperfect in the eyes of the world, because all of us are imperfect and flawed, but God loves us completely anyway.
He also taught me that true joy is in Him, and not in my circumstances. 
Soon, I had a peace that everything would be okay. That I would soon see God's glory in the life of my son.

Read the last part of Junior's Story Here!

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